There is a Devil on my Bootstrap

I stumbled to the finish line today

The cheers from the crowd

Transformed into cries of despair

When i thought it was over

I was told to keep going

And i looked at those much braver than myself

And said,

“there is a devil on my bootstrap.”

Their faces contorted,

Like a piece of paper draped over a flame,

their compassion ashed into the meloncholic mist

And rested upon my head,

Forming a tarnished ring

Where a champion’s wreath should rest.

Rather than hearing, “well done , thou good and faithful servant,”

When i gushed, “lord, LORD!”

They said, “i never knew you, depart from us.”

In my time of malnourished need,

Exhaustion from walking two miles,

When i could have walked one alone

I felt betrayed,

My own personal Judas, a wolf in christian’s clothing

Turned the other cheek, and exposed the lines of their face

And it etched a jigsaw compassion upon my heart.

Rather than hold my head high

I bowed my head, closed my eyes

And prayed that this burden

Would be loosed from my heels,

Giving strength to these weary thighs,

So that the remainder of this journey

Would heal my hope to attain that prize.

Leviathan

I’ve been caught in the safety net

squirming to be, trapped in a sea

a fish out of water, wishing to be wet

Prepared for dinner

on a table that has ceased to be set

stick a fork in me, I’m done

The knife has gutted my debt,

did you introduce yourself before we met?

Finish your great work in me–

balance the scales of justice in my heart

repair the guild that is my flesh, and Your spirit

Cast the line, I’ll bite

For too long I’ve swam underwater

I’m coming to the surface before I depart.

Sleeping with the Enemy

I’m getting laid
to rest
to bed
to infinite sleep
the slippery slope of slumber
the night of naivety is nigh
and the head that rests upon
the pillow
is a rushing river
for the slippery salmon
to exert, to exhort, to ex nihilo
to dream, to dress, too drab
was not our Zen the babbling brook?

This is a one night stand
up routine
down guillotine
to wrest
to dread
to wake is to rake
the life is an autumn leaf
lonely lusting for shimmering
light
to leap, to land, to love
to Christ, to crush, too cringe
no really, I’m falling for
you.

Please No Rain

If I look above, I’m let down
in need of the a sun, change comes with a quarter moon
the stars project a milky way
the planets, like friends, keep their distance.

Andromeda and Cassiopeia wait for my revelation
Orion will ride Pegasus pleading for my belt
Ursa Minor directs me north
Ursa Major is the grizzly truth
the constellations, like saints, radiate the everlasting light
and the Pleiades will one day, come into focus.

My eyes see black and white, but choose grey
the rainbow is a covenant, light years away
your conviction is about to crest
these forty days should have been a fortnight at best
the ark, like intentions, drifts under penalty repeating
and the hope I have, will rise, with the water’s receding.

Paralysis of the Heart, Numbness of the Mind

The San Andres Fault of the soul is
breaking, breaking, breaking
the echo is a heartbeat
knocking, knocking, knocking
hope is an eyelid
blinking, blinking, blinking
tomorrow is a lottery
longing, longing, longing
history is an inverted ladder
clinging, clinging, clinging
today is an undiscovered country
exploring, exploring, exploring.

My eye is a camera
capturing, capturing, capturing
your hand is a fist
bashing, bashing, bashing
my foot is a root
planting, planting, planting
your breath is a fog
clouding, clouding, clouding
my thought is alarmed
ringing, ringing, ringing
your faith is conditional
demanding, demanding, demanding
our insides look like our outsides
fleeting, fleeting, fleeting.

Run with Endurance the Race

The calmness inside me has come at a price
and the laundry thats dirty is worn like a vice
sooner or later my labor’ll suffice
as long, like a lamb, I keep moving

My fairness, thats peaceful, is brimming with pride
and the blood that is shining is draining aside
a marriage, its working, when a groom’s with his bride
and of course, the divorce, its proceeding

(Chorus)
As a sinner I’m sad
as a lover I’m glad
that the good Lord will save, and suffer
for a man that will run any minute.

And I’ll run, the race, with endurance
’cause my prize is a place, no longer a face, I see in a mirror.

If I am a question, then I have been marked
and if I am shouting, I’ve no bite but bark
my body is weary, and I’m sweating the dark
and like most men, my strength, it is fleeting

(Chorus)

Today, my prison, hand-crafted in whys
the jailer’s disorder’s, a little white lie
at times, in my bleakest, I lay down and die
but I’ll rise, with my God, whose defeating.

(Chorus)

The Exile has a Death Sentence

A minority to minorities
waiting for our fountain
holding our heads up
while rain is pouring down
our drowning is a drought
our delusion is ethereal doubt
Yet, like Noah, we’ll ride the ark
and the rest will be water-boarded upon the earth.

A harvest to harvesters-
waiting for table scraps
our hands are cupped
we’ll dine when we’ve supped
our feast is a fast
our famine is a flash
Yet, like the Prodigal, you’ll welcome me home
and the rest will starve upon the earth.

The existential has a death sentence-
the exile has life’s repentance.

I know the snare exists

I know the snare exists
because my eyes are open.
I know the darkness enlists
because my eyes are broken.
I know the false lie
because my eyes will confess.
I know the question “why”
because my eyes are distressed.
I know the trap awaits
because my eyes harbor harness.
I know the dire straits
because my heart is farthest.

I know that I am wounded
because my eyes are shut.
I know that I am pruned
because my eyes are cut.
I know that I am devoured
because my eyes are seasoned.
I know that I am overpowered
because my eyes have reasoned.
I know that I am lost
because my eyes have been bound.
I know that I am dross
because my heart, like silver, is found.

The Fount of Every Stressing

The desert land is my promised land
the new world is my garden of leaving
the manna from heaven is my king’s feast
the water spilling from the rock is my unsettled refreshment-
and yet I’ll complain.

The coat of many colors is my technicolor cutthroat
the burning bush is my desire’s flame out
The “know us” ark is my cruel ship
the torn commandments is my soul’s delight-
and yet I’ll complain.

The first day is my created girth
the second day is my fittest survival
the third day is my operation desperation
the last day is my resting day-
and yet I’ll curse you
(because I can’t see me).

The Blanket Upon the Babe

We knit with a needle-
with every stitch there’s a snatch
before the scab there’s a scratch
now let Us pass through the eye of the people.

The yoke begins with the yarn-
with every weakness there’s a weave
before the Light there’s a leave
belief is not a mansion, but a barn.

They pattern after a print-
with every frost there’s a freezing
before the thaw there’s a thieving
in need of heat? There’s the hint.